Poster

If someone drilled a hole in Charlie Kaufman’s skull and tried to extract a movie idea, then the result might be something similar to The Lobster. Unfortunately, this movie lacks Charlie Kaufman’s signature type of style and substance because it’s in the hands of an inferior talent. The ambition does not match the execution. I wanted to like The Lobster, but this is soulless quirk without any fun.

The Lobster is like a feature-length film version of Asperger’s syndrome.

Why was this movie made? Considering the central theme is about relationships and finding love, The Lobster fails to provide anything worthwhile on the subject. Society pressures people into relationships—that’s about it. This movie has a whole lot of nothing to offer the audience. I don’t like tearing down a movie, but I’ll be one of the lone voices deriding this fresh, steaming turd.

I’m shocked that there are people who enjoyed the experience of The Lobster.

Colin Farrell

Colin Farrell does his best with the material, but the dialogue is entirely too stilted. It caused physical pain to listen to people speak. Kudos to anyone who forced themselves to suffer past the movie’s first act. If you are one of those people, I would love to learn why you tortured yourself.

Before we go any further, let’s just state the premise of the movie for anyone who is unaware.

This movie is set in a future where The City sends single people to The Hotel to find a romantic partner. If you’re not successful within your 45 days, then you get turned into the animal of your choice. David (played by Colin Farrell) would like to be a lobster if he doesn’t find love.

Somehow, The Lobster is a drab, absurdist drama that refuses to provide levity.

More Colin Farrell

I don’t know why you would drag down this preposterous premise by embedding it in a dystopian future. I think we can all realize the ridiculousness and appreciate the absurdity without having to ground it in a gritty, joyless environment. This movie would have been instantly improved by just making this a magical hotel with the same type of consequences looming for failure. Tweak the story by having Colin Farrell’s character unwittingly arrive at the hotel for an extended stay—only to learn he has to find love before he leaves or else he’s turned into the animal of his choice.

You could still touch on the same points while also adding humor to lift up the material.  There is an astonishing lack of laughs in The Lobster.  Instead, this is a tough slog to endure.  This movie figuratively beats a dead horse and it literally beats a dead dog.

Director and co-writer Yorgos Lanthimos handled this movie with zero subtlety.

Despite a 2-hour runtime, there’s a frustrating lack of substance in The Lobster.

I still commend Lanthimos for the audacity of the premise, but I cannot think of one person I could recommend this movie to and reasonably expect them to enjoy it. Personally, I find it much more interesting to think and talk about the idea of this movie than the actual movie.

Leave The Lobster to die its slow, dull death in the grave it dug for itself.

Grave

1.5 out of 5 stars

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