Hesher

Hesher is a phenomenal film that is darkly funny, daring, and unique. I have never seen anything quite like this movie. It is the reason I love independent movies because it couldn’t been made otherwise.

Hesher has balls and a distinct sense of self. Joseph Gordon-Levitt transforms himself in this movie to play the titular character, Hesher. With dirty long locks and scruffy facial hair, Joseph Gordon-Levitt embodies a carefree, anarchist spirit who enjoys rolling around in the gutter. Hesher has a badass black van that he basically lives out of while galavanting around town looking for ladies and trouble.

But before you even meet Hesher, your heart is broken and trampled on when you’re introduced to T.J.—a young kid who is reeling after the devastating death of his mother. Devin Brochu plays T.J., and the incredible performance of this 13-year old kid is the emotional core of this movie. You truly, deeply feel his loss. Early in the movie, T.J. is obsessed with the car his mother died in and he even tracks it down at a junkyard when it’s towed from his house. His father, Paul (played by Rainn Wilson), is mired in his own depression and self-pity. Instead of being there for his son, Paul tries to swallow his pain by taking pills—often falling asleep on the couch in his filthy clothes. T.J.’s grandmother Madeleine (played by Piper Laurie) is the only stable adult presence in his life, but she can only do so much.

T.J.’s sole refuge is inside that car with the memories of his mother.

Whatever the cost, T.J. just wants to get that car back and gain some semblance of his old life.

While simple, this story is heart-wrenching. All you want to do is reach out and give everyone a hug.

Don’t expect Hesher to give him a hug. If anything, Hesher’s presence makes T.J.’s life more chaotic. Thanks to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Hesher is one of the most memorable movie characters. I cannot imagine any other actor pulling off this performance. Hesher lives to party and rage. Calling him unpredictable is an understatement. But Hesher is a shot of life when T.J. desperately needs something, someone.

Surprisingly, Natalie Portman plays third (or possibly even fourth banana) in this movie as Nicole—a homely young grocery store clerk that stops the school bully from bashing T.J.’s head into the pavement after he vandalizes the bully’s car. Her character didn’t need to be great, but Natalie Portman brought a certain credibility to the movie that you can’t buy. Piper Laurie is another great actress as the grandmother who rounds out a great supporting cast that bring elements of comedy and drama to this wonderful story.

The best compliment I can pay to a movie is to say that I wish I wrote it. I wish I wrote Hesher.

While Hesher is well-written, the actors and actresses make these characters come to life.

Hesher is not your standard, cookie-cutter movie. The beginning is a slow burn that builds to a faster pace once Hesher is introduced. You have no idea what to expect from Hesher. It is riveting.

For fuck sakes, Hesher has a giant middle finger tattooed on his back and a stick figure blowing his brains out tattooed on his chest. When Hesher follows T.J. and decides to crash at his house, T.J. puts up a mild opposition and Hesher asks him if he’s ever been skull-fucked. Although he’s completely intimidating when he threatens T.J. and has his hand around his neck, Hesher is then in his underwear smoking a cigarette on the couch while watching TV a moment later. Hesher doesn’t give a fuck.

In a time when most movies meld together in a bland, colorless line of shit, Hesher stands out. It’s not just all attitude and balls. To Hesher’s credit, this movie is as emotional as another Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie, 50/50 about a writer with cancer—which is also phenomenal in a much different way.

I don’t think Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets proper credit for such fantastic acting range. His body of work is impressive and growing. While most still probably remember him as Tommy from the TV show 3rd Rock from the Sun, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has seamlessly transitioned from child actor to accomplished adult movie star. I will continue to watch anything he is in because Joseph Gordon-Levitt is one of our finest actors, and he deserves more appreciation and adulation. As a creative spirit that thrives to empower and connect other artists together, we need more genuinely good human beings like Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Jump off the deep end with Hesher and enjoy this off-kilter dark comedy.

5 out of 5 stars

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is an ode to odd decision-making. Nearly a decade after the incredibly inventive original, this movie is a poor excuse for a sequel. Or is it a prequel? Whatever the fuck this movie is, it isn’t good and its most glaring issue is the chaotic direction that stockpiles confusion.

While Robert Rodriguez made the Sin City universe come to life on film, it feels like Frank Miller had considerably more input this time compared to the original. For whatever reason, the stories chosen from Miller’s comic books—or the new material written solely for this movie—do not translate this time around. At best, the stories could be best described as bland and boiled down, which just makes it feel like you’re watching recycled shit. Plus, the fucked up timeframes of these stories don’t help solve any confusion.

Why wait so long to create something so mundane?

By now, we’ve had a decade of technological advancement, which has resulted in so many movies copying Sin City’s same exact style and artful exposition. Somehow, the effects are significantly less impressive in this effort. Maybe it’s just Mickey Rourke’s fucked up face, but Marv’s makeup looks drastically different.

Without Mickey Rourke as Marv, I question whether or not this movie would have been made. Marv is just around to sprinkle in some comedic value and remind you of the original movie…y’know, the one where Marv dies. The choice to include Marv again appears to be an uninspired, cheap attempt to fool the audience into liking this sequel/prequel. There are just not a lot of new things to enjoy.

Unquestionably, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Johnny is easily one of the best parts of the movie. Johnny is a gambler that can’t lose who is hell-bent on revenge. The immovable object to Johnny’s irresistible force is Senator Roark, played once again by Powers Booth. I lost count of how many times Powers Booth said “power” in this movie, but it seemed like at least 6 times in the poker scene alone.

About 30 minutes into the movie is when we’re introduced to the titular character Ava, A Dame to Kill For. And I do mean titular. Eva Green’s boobs are undoubtedly the best part of this movie. Eva Green is pretty spectacular as Ava, but the character itself is less substantial than her boobs.

Speaking of a set of boobs, Jessica Alba might be a very nice, sweet person, but she is just atrocious as an actress. Jessica Alba is back as Nancy—everyone’s favorite sexually abused child turned into a stripper…only she never actually strips, but she does have a heart of gold. While several other stories take place prior to Sin City’s original events, Nancy’s timeline takes place afterwards as she’s lamenting the loss of Hartigan (whose ghost is still being played by Bruce Willis).

In case you don’t remember, Bruce Willis eats a bullet in the picturesque ending of Sin City after saving Jessica Alba. Little Nancy is still on the pole in A Dame to Kill For, and it is painful to see her try to act sexy yet again. It’s just so damn awkward and fake.

Everything is just so damn awkward and fake. In a nutshell, the issue with A Dame to Kill For can be seen in the recasting of three significant roles—Josh Brolin replacing Clive Owen as Dwight; Jamie Chung replacing Devon Aoki as Miho; and Dennis Haysbert replacing Michael Clarke Duncan as Manute.

It’s hard to fault them for casting a new Manute since Michael Clarke Duncan passed away, but I would have retired the character instead of searching for another monstrous black man with a deep voice. The same could be said for Miho since Devon Aoki was pregnant during the time of filming. But the most egregious decision in this entire fucking movie is the decision to replace Clive Owen.

Josh Brolin is a great actor, but he was miscast and misused. Clive Owen embodied the character of Dwight and brought it to life. The seed was sewn in the original Sin City with the convenient line that Dwight just recently got a new face. Reconstructive facial surgery is one thing, but a British accent is another.

There’s a scene towards the end where they plaster Josh Brolin’s face in makeup appliances and put a mop of hair on him to make him vaguely resemble a retarded Clive Owen. It’s a bewildering decision that seemingly had no thought put behind it.

While Sin City had snappy writing with several quotable lines, A Dame to Kill For features embarrassing dialogue. There’s literally a sequence in the movie where Josh Brolin (playing the pre-British accent version of Dwight) delivers a string of clichés—including the following:

“I forgive you, you got your wish. Go home, sleep tight.”
“I was born at night, but it wasn’t last night.”
“You made your bed, sleep in it.”

Did a 12-year old write this script? I’m almost certain this movie was conjured up in the mind of a pre-pubescent adolescent that can only think of buckets of blood and plenty of boobies.

Oh, and Stacy Keach looks like a breathing testicle with spectacles. So there’s that.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For isn’t all bad—maybe half of everything works. But the bad is fucking horrific. The biggest fault with this effort is that it’s so forgettable that it might actually hurt how people remember the original. It’s easy to mix up which events belong to which movie considering the self-referential nature of the broken intertwined timelines between both movies.

Let’s just hope it ends here and we all agree that this movie never actually happened.

2 out of 5 stars

Don Jon

Don Jon is another gem in a long line of highly enjoyable Joseph Gordon-Levitt movies. It’s no Hesher or 50/50, which are both in the upper echelon of my favorite movies—and that’s not even mentioning the fantastic, mesmerizing sci-fi flick Looper. But you can hardly hold that against Don Jon.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the writer/director, and his talent shines through in both aspects as he truly transforms into a Jersey Shore reject. However, that may actually be unfair to Jon because there’s more depth to his character than those orange, greasy one-note duds. After witnessing the quality caliber of Gordon-Levitt’s writing, I can excitedly declare I’m looking forward to the next 10-15 years of his movies. Hopefully, the same can be said for Michael B. Jordan (Wallace from The Wire) after his phenomenal performance in Fruitvale Station. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a few steps ahead of Michael B. Jordan at this point, but these are two incredible young actors with a penchant for interesting roles.

Pay attention to them, please.

As for Don Jon, it is a romantic comedy that avoids being your typical cookie cutter romantic comedy. Initially, I heard about this movie during Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s appearance on The Nerdist Podcast when it was still titled Don Jon’s Addiction. It’s fair to wonder whether or not Joseph Gordon-Levitt felt compelled to curtail the dark humor for a broader audience and more widespread appeal because this movie was initially threatened with the dreaded NC-17 label for the graphic porn displayed.

Ultimately, Don Jon could’ve gone darker with more of a bend on the genre, but it’s hard to complain when a movie makes you laugh and makes a point at the same time.

“There’s only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. My porn.” — Don Jon

Don’t look too much into the story of Don Jon ahead of time. Where the story turns and how deep you travel down into the rabbit hole is a pleasant surprise. What you need to know is that Don Jon is a Jersey ladies man who loves porn and trying to find a new woman to fuck every weekend. This is not a shitty Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy, but it could have been if it were in the wrong hands. If only McConaughey did something half as interesting as this movie during his stretch of boring box office bombs.

While this is largely a character study and commentary on love/relationships, the writing develops some thoroughly entertaining secondary characters. Tony Danza redeems himself—for failing to even remotely resemble a baseball pitcher in Angels in the Outfield, which also starred Joseph Gordon-Levitt—with this performance as Don Jon’s simpleton dad who loves football. He fucking loves football.

Who knew Tony Danza could act?

We all know Julianne Moore can act, and she does an impressive job as always in this movie as Esther. It was an interesting casting choice to go with Julianne Moore, but it pays off because of her incredibly believable portrayal. Scarlett Johansson is her typical uptight self, which is perfectly apt for her character of Barbara as a somewhat prudish, superficial succubus.

Some twists and quirks create an entertaining prism from which to view love/relationships. You surely have known someone in a similar position as Jon who has changed since he’s been dating Barbara. And now Jon is facing the inescapable pressure to settle down and start a family. That is an issue of note when you’re only concerned continuing your streak of fucking a new “8” or above each week. Oh, and Jon loves porn even more than prolonging that Cal Ripken-esque streak.

As if it needs to be said after reading this review, Don Jon is not a movie for parents or stuffy old white people with no sense of humor. Even watching this movie with a loved one or close friend could be awkward due to the rather racy subject matter. But don’t let the generous heaping of porn prevent you from watching this movie because there’s a genuine beating heart at the center of Don Jon.

4 out 5 stars